my dog likes think she’s really small and can share a chair
my brother left because there was no room on the chair
ALL DOGS SEE YOU AT YOUR MOST UNFLATTERING ANGLE WHERE IT LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE TWELVE THOUSAND CHINS AND THEY ARE STILL SO HAPPY TO SEE YOUR BEAUTIFUL SELF THAT THEIR ENTIRE BODY VIBRATES, HOW GREAT IS THAT?
me: i should get in the shower
*2 hours later someone else starts the shower*
me: o hmy god fuck you i was JUST about to get in there